The BIG Relief

*PHEW* Ok, need I say more? Today was the BIG day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fine, I'm literally hyperventillating right now so gimme a while to calm down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am better. Well, not better but at least its better than i was a second ago:o Let me just sort things out a bit so it won't seem like I'm writing gibberish:

1)Toilet Break(s)
Big day? More like toilet break day. Oh, and i kinda missed out an S. A BIG one at that!!! This morning i had a nightmare! I dreamt of Mrs Simon, a child's worst nightmare(pls don't tell her that), holding a cleaver at hand, cackling evily, breathing down our shivering necks, saying,"YOU ARE SOOOO FINISHED!" And I screamed, and woke up. Just like that! And I realised my pillow was drenched in some gooey stuff. Not gooey as in sweat, but Gooey as in spew. Which means i drooled, in plain English. I drooled? All my life I didn't know I drooled.Unorbservance aside, I seriously do not think I create that mess. But all evidence pointed at me. Screaming, if you were not so kind, in fact. Mrs Simon...The BIG truth...Mrs Simon...The BIG truth...Mrs Simon...The BIG truth Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Think about it now I'm hyper-ventilating again.Only more convulsively! We all know that Mrs Simon+No recorder=No head. You there, I'm referring to yours. If you did not catch it, I meant YOURS. As in YOUR head. Haha. Don't just laugh it of, kids, I dare you to go and try. Brave souls, I am not joking. This is a tried and tested recipe for broiled human head stew. This is not a joke. I am not joking.Why? Coz i'm not a joker and you know that jolly well. Anyway, back to the toilet part.I am certain I did have a giant man-eating venus flytrap growing abnormally in my stomach.You want proof? You can have it. Just look into my toilet. NO, it really should e smell into my toilet. I'm telling you now again, this toilet thing is not a joke. Why? Coz I'm not a joker-and you don't wanna mess with me on bad bowels day.Hehe!!!!!
P.S.I went to the toilet 11 times this morning. You try to break that!

2)Announcement scare
No. two incident-announcement scare. I was devastated. Uttertly destroyed. Nah, just kidding! I was kinda disappointed for a while, a few seconds or so but I was fine after that. Why? I was thinking I could go home after that and watch a dvd or two and think of way to console myself that,"Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want it but it's OK," because it's really not the end of the world and I can live with it so why make myself miserable? And so the LONG wait began... faith...clap clap clap...rachel...clap clap clap...shirley...clap...clap clap... But no Tracy. Sigh. Disappointment did get to me, but it did not hit me that hard coz when I was young I was a clapper and as a clapper now, it isnt hard to understand how a clapper feels. I just clapped and cheered for them while trying to think, please God, gimme a 268 at the very least. I need it!!! 6 years of hard work!(but of course if I don't get it I can live with it) And then they were like," Sorry we have made a mistake;Tracy got 274 and I was like, what???!!!" I thought I was going crazy so I didn't stand up but mc4(mrs chong) said again, "Umm Tracy are you here?" And my legs were like jelly and I couldnt lift myself up. I mean, I could have found 999 things to trip onto while standing there, but God bless, I didnt. But the claps that followed werent as loud, of course, but it was enough at that point of time. I mean, others were shock-how many times does an announcement malfunction occur? But I was happy, of course, so I kinda clapped for myself which was like, lame but I hoped nobody noticed!hehe...

3)Scare no.2-Project Lizard
So after that we went home and moms and pops brought me out for dinner coz he kinda got a fine from the summon auntie waived after banging at their door so we had reason enough to be eating out.Anyway pops brought us to eat chilli crab and when I was munching something dropped from the ceiling. I slowly put down the crab and wiped my fingers then turned to faced my shoulder, so I would not dirty my shirt when I swept away that stray leaf. But when I turned I got a shock. Of my life. Coz the 'leaf' wasnt a leaf but a lizard; a huge and fat one at that!(maybe too much leftover chilli crab forced it overweight) Anyway, I was screaming and looking at it while it idly turned its head to face me and stared at me while I stared at it. And we were staring, staring (and screaming) until it inched toward me and I stood up, ran round in circles and shook it off(while screaming) So the poor thing(now that i think of it it was kinda pitiful) ran round and escaped into the drain before pops could squish it. Lucky thing.And I was pi**ed. I really was. I mean, how many times does a lizard drop onto your shoulder, square on the shoulder, right on the spot? I mean, places like that shouldnt even have lizards in them!
I'm sure you would be (pi**ed) if you were me, wouldnt you?

Alright, enough of this crappy talk.More pep talk the next time, i assure you. Why? Coz you wouldnt wanna challenge me for pep talk competition if you knew I am having some compulsive bowel disorder. Hehe. Tata for today. See ya the next time!!!