New School,New Life

Hey guys! I have not been blogging for a very,very long time. Anyway, i dont have time anymore. Time is not a want but a need and so my postings from today onwards will be very,very short. Anyway, i got into RGS and it is like so different from st.Hilda's! I miss st.Hilda's! Now that i am outta primary school i actually miss it, and very badly.Went to school today to collect the Eagle award cheque and i caught a glimpse of mrs chu. It has changed so much! And now i cant believe i am wishing that i can turn back the clock and return there. Anyway no more jokes coz i am anyhow typing coz i am really outta time.

Everything in RGS is so new, so different, and i am actually a little scared. I have never felt this way before in my life, seriously. Made quite a lot of new friends but i really miss my old ones!!! And the food there is another issue! I lost my appetite coz i am just not used to it. Mom says i have lost the weight i had so painstakingly put on this, sorry,last holiday.Sorry i keep forgetting that holidays are over and now is time for serious business. Had to sneak in to type this post. I just need something to confide into, you know. And the PSLs, or buddies, are rather nice but i am so not used to this niceness-last time our buddies used to bully us!

Only about 4 ppl in my class are not from RGPS and i am one of them! I feel lonely, though the RGPS girls treat me well and they are so nice.And then i see lonely pupils, just like me, and some who are worse off than me, and i start feeling sorry for them cos i know exactly how they feel. Trying to befriend those with no friends now to make them feel at home and to help myself improve on social skills. This is so like P1 and i feel kinda small. Nowadays i prefer going home to school, though the ppl there are really nice and i have to thank them. Just wanna tell them that i really appreciate it. I feel kinda alone now and the topics are quite hard- we are doing GCE O level stuff and the HMT is harder, much harder. Will have to try to cope without a tuition teacher, though. Times are bad and i dont wanna add to my parents' burden. Just hoping to adapt to life there.

I really admire the seniors there! They look so at home, while i feel so lost, like a small fish in a big, endless ocean. But i know there are no sharks so it is safe to swim. Not trying to sound figurative but yes, thats exactly how i feel.

And shirley and Nicole are my busmates! Thats quite a comfort! The girl sitting next to me in my bus is cherine chan from SHPS 2008 and there are 2 other girls, both Indian, Balachanda and Pavithra also from SHPS 2008 in my bus. They look so settled but i dont feel like i am. And the cca thing is also confusing me. I am gonna audition for 10 or 9 ccas and then choose 1. I cant join AC coz its under merit though i have the certs which can be used to change it to a core cca.i am gonna try that out and see if it works, but i am crossing my fingers coz there are only 2 places left for AC. But art has always been a part of me and generations of my family planted their roots their so it cannot end with me! I MUST try to get in, but face it, there are only 2 coveted seats and i must venture into other stuff if i fail.

Right now i am feeling alone and uncertain and i feel weird and all, and theres this persistant cough which has been tiring me out. This is still only the 2nd day but i feel strained already. Just took medicine and i am feeling drowsy. I have not showered yet;just came back.

I miss st Hildas!!! Clock, please turn back the time!!!